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Tuesday, June 8, 1999

It's hot when I get off work at 5:00 in the afternoon, and we're just in the 90s. Damn! I always forget how hot hot can be until it hits. I can feel it tiring me out. I feel weak by the time I get home, even when I take the bus. It gets better as the summer goes on but the heat still makes me tire out faster. I'm not a hot weather person but I love all the light we have here so it's a trade off. I would love to live in a cool, foggy place but I think I would miss the light.

It's when my bones just feel drained that I wish I smoked again. That always gave me a little push, but then in a little bit I would need the push again, but it was great while it lasted. I really enjoyed smoking and never really wanted to quit. I just couldn't afford smoking and knew that I needed to quit because it's a stupid way to kill one's self.

Life seems to slow down in the summer. It's too hot to really do much outside in the middle of the day, or even until about 8:00 or 9:00 in the evening. I go to the mall and walk around sometimes but that's just not the same as a nice walk outside. I can go on hikes but they start so early in the morning and I like to take it easy on weekends. If I get out first thing in the morning it's not bad but once it warm up it's a bitch.

Oh, those skies first think in the morning, though. They are awesome. A deep blue that you could just drown in. The contrast with the stark desert is wonderful. I love to look at the mountains against the sky.

Summer is a time to hibernate and cocoon. It's a time to decide what and where to go next. Some places it's a time to get out and around and go places. In the desert it's a time to wait until fall. Fall is the best time in the desert, but summer is a time to relax and take it easy. Where I work we can't take vacation most of the summer because it's fiscal year end, so I'll just hang out and figure out where my life is going.

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Rachel Aschmann 1999.
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