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Friday, April 16, 1999

My back has been hurting again today. I think it was still a bit weak after going out last week and I've done too much without taking care of it. I planned to go on a hike today to check out my new boots and got all dressed up and even rode my bike a couple miles to catch the bus before I realized that my back was not relaxing and that I was not going to be able to hike. I tried to read but my back hurt so bad that I finally took a muscle relaxant which put me to sleep for several hours.

All of a sudden I heard someone unlocking my door and I sat up saying "Who's there? Who are you?". I was still too asleep to even be afraid. It was my dad who was dropping off a book. He had knocked but I hadn't heard it, but I sure heard the key in the lock. It's interesting what will wake us up.

Anyway it was the middle of the afternoon by then. I walked over to the library which is just next door and got some mysteries which I spent what was left of the day reading. I also rode my bike up to the store and got some ice cream. Definitely an ice cream day. It is so depressing to spend a vacation day not feeling well. My back still hurts but not sharply like it did this morning.

I always feel a little depressed at the end of a vacation as I feel like it should have been better and I should have done so much more. I want to use my free time so carefully but that can be a loser also as I can get so focused on "having a good time" that I end up not enjoying anything. If we all only had "meaningful" work and all the free time we wanted and the money to enjoy it. I wonder if we really would enjoy that.

I enjoyed spending several hours reading mysteries. I used to read mysteries all the time and then I found that I would read the first part, then skip to the ending because I didn't want to go through the inbetween. I didn't want to think. I wanted a half hour sitcom. I enjoy reading them again but I don't get as engrossed as I used to. Whether this is bad, because I've developed the attention span of a two year old, or good, because I don't use them to escape from the world, I haven't decided.

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Biked - 4

Rachel Aschmann 1999.
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