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Wednesday, October 10, 2001

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Restless

I check out nature books because they sound so wonderful but, too often, within a chapter or two, sometimes the first few pages, I give up because they get so mystical and and spiritual. I enjoy reading about nature but I want to know about nature not the flutterings it causes in someones heart. I figured out a long time ago that nature is not cute. That green grass that the woman in a filmy white dress is running across would, under normal conditons, have twigs and stones and chiggers.

I enjoy camping too but it's always nice to come home and not have to wipe off my feet to keep from getting sand in my bed. I long ago quit making the huge campfire meals that involve a lot of work and washing under extremely primitive conditons. In fact, I've quite making campfires. I much prefer to cook on my nice little alcohol stove and be able to see the stars instead. If someone else wants to make a fire, that's great, and I will enjoy playing with it, but when I'm by myself, no thanks.

I feel so restless. Lisa is back safe. A whole lot is going on at work. I'm not sure how I feel on a few issues that I care about. I'm broke, as usual. I'm never sure when I go to bed how well I'm going to sleep. The weather is cooling off. And I feel so restless right now. I keep starting books and putting them down. I channel surf more than I ever have. There is just too much change going on right now. I like change, I just don't know which change to handle first.


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Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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