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Monday, September 17, 2001

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I've been thinking today about what made me uncomfortable about the memorial service last night. It wasn't just that it was such hokey pc but that it still left out large pieces of the community. It left out pagans and atheists like they are always left out. It's as if we don't really matter and we don't mourn or feel like other people do.

Atheists especially are considered to not care because they don't believe in god. Besides the fact that it's acts like those of the terrorists that make people wonder if there is a god, it's rather tacky to say that because we are honest about what we believe, we should be excluded. There is even a large contingent that doesn't think we should have the same rights as other citizens.

The buses are running again, which is so cool. Yesterday afternoon I got a call that the strike had been settled and felt so free again. It's hard to get around just by foot and bike. That is how I usually get to work, but it's nice to have to option of taking the bus home again, or shopping, or whatever. I'm happy. The bus this morning was only half full since there wasn't much about it other than a bit on the news. If other people are avoiding news like I am they probably missed it.

I got an email from my daughter this morning and she is back at work. I'm glad that her life is getting back to normal also. We all gripe and whine about work but it does give a continuity to our lives that helps us through rough times. I feel so sorry for those who lost their jobs. How terrible to not only live through all they did and, probably , losing many people they worked with, but to not have anywhere to go right now.

I think we all need work of some kind. The retired people I know who are most alive are the ones that still keep busy with volunteer work or travel or classes. Dad keeps busy with his language work and I think it has kept him as chipper as he is. Some people do art or music, often the things they gave up many years ago because of the responsibilities of raising a family or from being told they weren't good enough. People who just retire to a seat in front of the television seem to wither away. Even if they live many years they don't seem to really be alive.

I've had a headache since Saturday and I think it's because Saturday night I just cried and cried. When I do that I always wake up with a bad headache and it lingers for a couple days. I just wanted to cry and yell about what happened but now I'm dealing with the aftermath. An emotional hangover.

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Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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