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Thursday, April 26, 2001

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Work angst

I had a beautiful walk to work this morning which woke me up nicely. I had a very restless night, which is usual, anymore, if I don't take a sleeping pill, but I didn't feel too tired this morning and got right up and got going. I'm never sure how much I sleep. Sometimes I feel like I haven't slept yet but them I remember that I was doing something that was not just lying in bed. It's a strange feeling.

My head was open and clear but I goto work and it just stoppedup. I'm sure there's something at work that I'm allergic to but I don't know what it is. Other people have said it happens to them too. Dust?

I'm tense because of new responsibilites at work. I like change but not being in charge and it's making me nervous. I think I'll do ok, I almost always do at work, but I'm still anxious. I got very depressed last night and I think it's because of the changes.

Part of the depression was work but also because I realized it's Mother's Day in a couple weeks and the hospital called this week about my mother's ashes and I feel lonely without her or my children when everyone will be celebrating their mothers.

It was cloudy and cooler when I got off work and halfway home it started raining. Everyone on the bus groaned as none of us were prepared. It was a chatty ride anyway since people seemed to be in a talkative mood. It's nice when everyone starts talking to each other as usually the bus home is full of tired people who just want to sit there. As I was walking up to my door I saw a rainbow which is one of the perks of living in Tucson.

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Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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