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Monday, April 23, 2001

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In charge?!

Our office is being reorganized and L and I will be team leaders of a larger team than we have now. I had no problem with that, but in a meeting today I found out that it include doing employee reviews for the other members of the team. I find that to be scary. I'm not even good at filling out my side of a review much less reviewing someone under me. I like change but I'm not very good at telling other people what to do or how good they are at doing it.

I do want to tell people how to do things but I've tried so hard to not take over that it's hard to take charge. I like to control what's going on, which is why I like to be left free to do my job the best I can, but I don't like being in control of how other people do. The one time I had any supervisory control was at Brandenburgs and that was not something I want to repeat since I would make a decision and then he would tell me he hadn't told me what he had or that I was wrong in the decision I made. This did not give me the confidence to try it again. The people over me are much better than he was but I still feel uneasy about it.

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Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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