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Tuesday, March 20, 2001

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Pre-travel jitters

I'm in my pre-travel stress period. I love travel but I worry beforehand about so many stupid, petty things. I just know I won't take enough clothes and then I worry that I'm taking too many clothes. I know that no one will care if I wear the same outfit too often and then I know that people will know I'm wearing the same clothes every couple days. I wear the same clothes all the time at work so that's a false fear.

I pack too much and then unpack too much and finally settle on too much but at least I'm comfortable with it, well sort of comfortable. At least I'm finally taking fewer books. I always take all these weighty tomes, which I don't get around to reading. If I read something it's usually a cheap mystery that I pick up on the way. I'm too busy paying attention to what's going on around me to concentrate on books that require too much attention.

I've decided that this is akin to always carrying too much in my backpack. I feel more secure if I have enough necessities with me. I suppose this is part of not feeling like I belong anywhere but will move on. I come and go on this but I still don't carry around anywhere near what people with cars take with them everywhere they go, so it's just more noticeable with me than with most people. They just don't think about it because they have the room to carry it or if they don't carry it, the ability to run home quickly and get it. I can't do that either since it takes too long when you don't have a car.

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Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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