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Tuesday, January 9, 2001

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A deadline and a cold

I had a major deadline today at work and came down with a major cold. It is just a cold, not the flu so I functioned but I feel a little high. The worst part of a bad cold is my sore nose. I finished off my kleenex at work and was stealing toilet paper from the bathrooms. For all that I feel good because I did get the file off to the state now I can just clean up the bits and pieces that I found out were wrong as I was checking the file.

It rained all day, heavily at times. On the way home I could see the mountains with snow on top. The setting sun was giving them a glow and they were beautiful. I tried to get a picture but there were phone lines in the way so I'm not sure how good it will turn out.

Besides the cold I am also tired because my neighbor had friends over last night. He's a college student and works in one of the casinos at night. I hear him coming home in the morning about the time I get up. He's a nice kid but last night one of his guests was on the balcony smoking, right in front of my window, and going on and on about how he just doesn't understand women. This started at 1:30 in the morning and kept up off and on till 3:30. I didn't complain because he is a good neighbor but I seriously considered telling his friend to get a life.

I rarely do tell people off since I'm so not confrontational. Sometimes I wish I were able to confront people more easily but even when I practice I'm not good at it. Sometimes this makes me very upset but usually I just shrug it off, after rehearsing a scenario in my mind in which I just crush the jerks with my pithy and cutting remarks. The bad part is that I withdraw instead of solving the problem and then feel bad even though the other person has no idea they are upsetting me. Withdrawal is my coping mechanism. I suppose it's better than getting beat up but there are times I wish I stood up for myself.

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(c) Rachel Aschmann 2001.
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