Well, I finally made it into the doctor. It only took three months to get an appointment and finally get new prescriptions so I don't have to listen to my pharmacist tell me I need to make an appointment and get a new prescription. The results are polyps on my cervix, being told I need to come in for blood tests and set up an appointment elsewhere for a mammogram and a prescription for sleeping pills.

I have never gotten a prescription for sleeping pills but I guess I convinced the doctor that I really needed to get more sleep. I am scared that I might overuse them but I certainly hope not. Just having them will help take some stress off. The longer I lie awake the more stressed I get and while I eventually, one night or the next, finally get a full night's sleep, I am just tired. We shall see.

I talked with my father tonight and he seems to be settling in more. If I am stressed over the changes in the last year, I'm sure he is even more so. Mom was his wife and he was so good about visiting her and caring for her. He's in his 80s and has become widowed, moved to another city and had to make all new friends where he is. Well, he does know some people but most are new.

I'm looking forward to visiting with Mike and Lauri over christmas and seeing Lauri's family again. They are a very interesting family and so different from my family. I'm still looking for the "perfect" family and while I've seen possibilities, they've all fallen short. I guess most families are perfect in their own way. It's just so hard to accept my family just as it's hard for other people to accept their families, and all are families are rather strange.

I sat down tonight and paid all the bills I could through January 12th. We get our December 29th paycheck this Friday and it's a long way to January 12th so I always try to get everything paid so the money doesn't slip away with this and that and the other. Now I have to remember to mail everything on Friday before I head off for the holidays.