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Tuesday, September 5, 2000

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Long days and confusion

Today was a long day. It takes just one extra day on a weekend to spoil us rotten. During the weekend I was waking up bright and early at 5:00 or 5:30. Today I had to struggle to get up by 5:00 I was so sound asleep. The good part is that tomorrow is already Wednesday. We wish our lives away waiting for the weekend and vacation and retirement. We are so silly.

I had a real hit of depression last night and cried and cried. I think I felt guilty about Dad. I'm ok now, I think.

I'm looking forward to going on vacation. I'll be on the bus forty hours each way and it's going to be tiring but it will be so nice to have all that time to do nothing and not be able to do things. What a year this has been. There were good things like Rick's wedding and getting together with all my brothers and bad things like Mom's death and confusing things like how I feel about my father and things I can't decide like whether to move and if I want to and if so, where.

That's the way life always is though. We think that life will eventually settle down but it never does. Things don't happen the way we thought they would and we never reach a place where everything. We wish our life away waiting for life to . . well . . mature? settle down? quit falling apart? be predictable?

I'm starting to take training classes at work again. I started then stopped when this year fell apart. That's one thing about working at a university, they have all kinds of free classes employees can take. They urge us to take classes. Lot's of them are rather touchy feely, but they have more practical ones also. I'm starting with classes on how our financial system works since I know our part and some of other parts but not how it all fits together.

I also want to get in classes on how to prepare a resume, how to be better at presenting things in meetings, how to set up better webpages, etc. Most of these are just a couple hours each but they give you a good start. Quite a few build on others so you do get good training even though you only fit in a couple hours when you can.

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(c) Rachel Aschmann 2000.
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